Without You
by XKingdomxKiyomiX
Summary: Cloud is stuck in the past of his former love, Aeris. Being in a 'relationship' with Tifa has affected his feelings even more. Tifa notices how detachted Cloud is and tries to get Cloud to see the truth and break from his past.
1. Facing Reality

Chapter 1: Facing Reality

It was silent that day…or more like he was silent. Pondering the questions that floated around in his mind…yet he couldn't pinpoint one individual question.

Everything was a blur to him, but he still felt like he was living a dream.

Not a dream…he wanted to believe that everything was unreal, that he was actually living a dream. Someone had kept that from happening…

He hoped that when he had the courage to finally open his eyes he would find her laying next to him. Her eyes closed, body engulfed in the bliss of relaxation.

He didn't want to live in reality; he wanted to block the pains of losing his friends out of his mind.

Zack wasn't dead…Aeris wasn't dead.

How many times has he repeated this in his head? Too many times to count, he assumed.

XxXxXxX

Cloud finally decided to open his eyes, fed up with the lies that kept repeating in his mind. He turned around to find the orange glow from the sun shining in his face.

He had slept through most of the morning, but was well rested considering how late he had gone to bed the night before. Tifa had decided to have a little "talk" with Cloud last night after her bar had closed.

~ _It was lonely and bright that night and he was spending it alone. It was only him and his lost memories. Those memories had occupied his mind most of the time no matter what he tried; he just couldn't keep his mind off her. Watching her die…it was the worst moment of his life and he blamed himself. He looked up at the stars thinking about nothing in particular._

"_Long day?" A voice asked from behind him. Cloud slightly turned his head to see Tifa standing over him. That ever-present smile on her face…an emotion he didn't seem to show often. Cloud looked away and shrugged slightly. Tifa untied her apron and took a seat next to him, setting it in her lap._

_They were sitting on the stairs of Tifa's bar, 7__th__ Heaven. It had been busy in the bar earlier so Cloud had stepped outside from the noisy crowd to get some fresh air. He sat outside until Tifa closed the bar. _

_An awkward silence was shared between the two. Tifa took this as an opportunity as she moved closer to him and took his hand. Cloud slightly retracted his hand but Tifa held it tight. "You're thinking about her again aren't you?" Tifa asked in a light voice…with a hint of an inquisitive tone._

_Cloud didn't want to answer that question but the answer was written all over his face._

"_Cloud you have to forgive yourself!" Tifa's voice pleaded. "…But I…" Cloud looked back down at the wooden stairs. "What do you think she would say about the way you are acting? Huh?" Tifa prodded._

_Cloud's silence filled the air. Tifa had to answer for him once again, "She would forgive you and tell you to move on." Cloud turned his attention to Tifa. "You think that I…could be forgiven?" Tifa's dark eyes met up with light blue eyes filled with the hope of a SOLDIER…she was always the one that got lost in those blue orbs. "Of course Cloud." Tifa said with a reassuring smile. Tifa could spot a faint smile amongst Cloud's lips as well, which was good enough for her._

"_Come on!" Tifa said standing up and pulling Cloud with her, "Denzel and Marlene are looking for you inside!" Tifa explained eagerly pulling Cloud towards the open door to 7__th__ heaven. Cloud nodded following her into the dim area._

"_And Cloud?" Tifa said in a light tone once Cloud made it up the stairs. "Huh?" Cloud asked looking back at Tifa. "We're going to be okay." Tifa said. "Y-yea." Cloud replied with a small smile before going into Denzel's room._

He knew what she was trying to do; Tifa was trying to help him face reality. But still Cloud pretty much denied any help he could get. He felt as if the world had turned its back on him…yet he was still plagued with the sins of despair. But he didn't realize what the real problem was.

Cloud tried to close his mind off to all these thoughts when he heard the door open. Tifa gingerly stepped into the room. Cloud tried to read the expression on her face but he couldn't focus.

"Cloud, you awake?" Tifa asked in a light tone. Cloud wasn't aware that he was still laying on his side half asleep until Tifa pointed it out.

"Yea..." Cloud said sheepishly as he sat up against the backboard of the bed. His response obviously sparked some kind of light inside of Tifa as a large smile appeared on her face.

Still, Cloud knew the reason behind that smile. She was happy to see him.

He hadn't really been at the Bar that often. He stayed at the Church in the Slums. Its sweet scent always reminded him of her. At least it made him feel like there was someone out there for him. But she had to be taken from his life.

Cloud scoffed and turned to look out the window next to the bed.

Somehow Tifa completely blew his mood off, her happiness overwhelmed any other emotion she could have, remotely, been feeling.

Tifa made her way around the bed and sat next to Cloud. "You came back…" She said smiling at him. "Of course…I can't leave you here by yourself…" Cloud said quietly looking down at the plaid sheets that cloaked the bed.

Tifa placed her hand on Cloud's and gave him a smile, but it slowly diminished as she thought about what she wanted to tell him. This was Cloud's reality. Tifa, Denzel, Marlene, the bar, all his friends, even the delivery service!

Frustrated to no end, she would desperately ask herself questions and try to figure out why he refused to accept any of this. Even though Cloud wouldn't tell anyone where he disappeared to, she knew. He couldn't hide his feelings from her.

Cloud was still stuck on Aeris.

Tifa looked forward to her relationship with Cloud and what could, and should be a healthy, romantic relationship. All Tifa could muster up to what Cloud had said was a meek nod. "It would be better if you could stay with me all the time." She caught herself saying quietly.

"S-sorry."Cloud said wearing yet another sheepish yet sympathetic expression on his face. "I'll stay more and help you out okay?"Cloud finally said after what seemed like a long dejected pause. "Really?" Tifa asked excitedly. She had to restrain herself from hugging him. "Yea." Cloud muttered, "I need to stop living in the past." It was like he had read her mind. But Cloud was right, facing reality wasn't that hard. Speak for yourself…she thought. "I'm glad you're going to make an effort." Tifa said and held her arms out waiting for a hug.

A small smile tugged at Cloud's lips as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against his chest. Tifa wanted this to be her picture perfect moment that would last forever.

When she had finally opened her eyes she was staring at a photo of the Flower Girl. _I took this picture…_Tifa said in her mind as she stared at the Flower Girl tending to the flowers. She could pick up that faint scent of flowers on Cloud's clothes…it reminded her of Aeris.

Was she really gone?

A/N: Well I was just inspired one day to write a fanfic. I always loved the pairing Aeris and Cloud =]. I also like Tifa and Cloud. So you will sort of see a mixture of both in this fanfic. I might start a separate fanfic of Aeris X Cloud. Thanks to Kitty-Chan-Kilara for being my Beta Reader! I Love Chu! –Super Glomp-

Review and inspire me for the next chapter! I hope this isn't confusing to you guys ; If you are confused don't be afraid to ask!

XxXKingdom_KiyomiXxX

XxXSnow_QueenXxX


	2. The Letter

Chapter 2: Letter

"Cloud's here!" Denzel shouted rushing down the stairs to meet Cloud. He was sitting on a bar stool watching Tifa putting clean glasses away. Denzel hugged Cloud from behind a bright and eager smile on his face. "Hi Cloud!" he said. "Hey." Cloud replied tousling his hair. Marlene came walking down the stairs shortly after. "What happened Cloud?" Marlene asked after giving him a hug. "Yea where did you go?" Denzel asked.

Cloud was silent; he didn't want to tell them that he had been sleeping in a church for the past few days…weeks?

He could only imagine how much he had made them worry…seeing that Cloud wasn't going to answer anytime soon Tifa decided to help him out.

"He needed some time alone from everything, okay?" Tifa asked leaning against the bar counter and watching them with a smile on her face.

Denzel and Marlene were bombarding Cloud with a countless number of questions and tugging at his clothes. They paid Tifa no mind…

But surprisingly this didn't bother Tifa, when Cloud had returned all she wanted to do was talk to him and no one else.

She never realized how much Cloud meant to her in her life. How much she thought about him, how much he occupied her – ugh!

Tifa turned around to resume cleaning the bar up. "I'm fine." Cloud said smiling at Denzel and Marlene. "How have you been Denzel? Have you been feeling better?" Cloud asked. Denzel instinctively raised a hand to his forehead and nodded, "it's gone for sure." He said, "Tifa even said so!"

"Good I was hoping for that." Cloud said looking at his right arm.

It was silent for a minute…Marlene was reading something on a folded piece of paper that seemed worn out.

"From...Aeris?" Marlene asked in a confused tone still holding the paper in between her small hands. Cloud quickly turned his attention to Marlene and his eyes widened at the paper in Marlene's hands. He tried to calm himself with a deep breath. "Marlene can I have that paper?" he asked quietly his voice cracked in the middle of the sentence. Cloud didn't really want to sit there asking Marlene for the paper, he wanted to take it and leave. Marlene looked up at him confused by the letter and handed it to him. Cloud skimmed the letter quickly and placed it back in his pocket…he didn't say a single word.

"Cloud what's that?" Tifa asked turning her attention back towards him. Cloud didn't respond it seemed like he returned to that 'shell' as Tifa would put it, where he would shut down and ignore everything and anything.

Tifa sighed not knowing what to do or say to get through to Cloud. She wanted to know what that letter was and what it was about. She knew it was none of her business but she was still curious. It had to be something important if Cloud kept it in his pocket for who knows how long. That Letter wasn't recent either, it had been well over a year since Aeris' death. The Letter was tattered, and worn out, just another proof of how old it was.

Curiosity was still knocking at her brain. "Cloud?" She tried again. Silence. Tifa heavily sighed returning to back to putting the glasses away and washing them out. She tried to keep calm to refrain from breaking the glass in her hand.

Once she let her anger slowly fade away she turned to Denzel and Marlene. "Can you guys leave for a moment? I want to talk to Cloud." Tifa said trying to keep her voice calm without breaking into a raging fit. "Sure." Denzel said as he held a shocked Marlene's hand and led her upstairs.

What the hell was written in that Letter?

"Cloud? Can I see the letter?" Tifa asked. Cloud just diverted his eyes from her. "Cloud! We made a deal! You told me you wouldn't live in the past anymore!" She cried.

"I'm trying…"Cloud said in a voice a little above a whisper. "It's not easy…"

Tifa was taken aback by the tone in Cloud's voice. "Cloud I'm sorry, I know it's hard…trust me." Tifa said sitting next to him and putting her arms around him.

She was dealing with her own internal conflicts from the past as well. She never told anyone, she didn't want anyone to know about it. She was keeping herself busy from the thoughts that she didn't want to deal with. Trying to cope with Cloud was just bringing back more painful memories.

Cloud relaxed into Tifa's touch. "Tifa…I'm sorry." He whispered. "That's okay." Tifa said kissing his cheek. Cloud smiled trying to pick himself up from that slight downfall. "This Letter…" Cloud said looking at it in his hand. "Aeris gave this to me the last time we were together…before everything happened." Cloud spoke the last part quietly, his voice filled with pain. "Really?" Tifa asked sitting on the bar stool next to him.

Cloud just looked at the Letter in his hand silently. He made no attempt to open it up though. "Did you read it before?" Tifa asked. "Yea…once." Cloud responded. Tifa wanted to know what Aeris could have written in that letter. Was it a goodbye? Was it an apology? Was it talking about how she wanted to save the planet? Or was it talking about her love for Cloud?

Tifa cringed at the last question that was in her mind. She knew oh-so-well how Aeris felt for Cloud. It made her heart contract in pain and her eyes squeeze shut in fear.

Tifa fiddled with her hands for a minute thinking about how to ask Cloud this next question. "Cloud…"She said quietly. "What did…What did Aeris write in the letter?" She asked her eyes slowly looking up to connect with his. Cloud gripped the letter in his hand before returning it to his pocket.

He apologetically smiled at Tifa and said, "I want to keep it to myself." Tifa's mouth dropped open for a slight second but then closed as she returned his smile. "I understand…"She said, she set the dish towel on top of the counter. Inside she was really disappointed, she wanted to know everything.

"Well, if you need anything I'll just be upstairs." Tifa said sliding off the bar stool and slowly making her way to the stairs, just in case Cloud wanted to rethink his words and call her back. Cloud just remained silent setting his hands against his face. With a sigh Tifa left him to sulk by himself.

A/n: So yea I'm soooooo sorry it took me a million years to actually type this up. I've been kind of lazy and afraid of carpal tunnel because I get it soo quickly ;u;. I am working on the third chapter so expect it soon and I hope you guys are enjoying this. I'm going to start posting different fics up of different things I'm in love with so I hope you guys will read those soon. Please review and tell me what you think. No reviews = no encouragement to keep this story going. : Maybe that's why I don't write so much of this story anymore.

XxXKingdom_KiyomiXxX

XxXSnow_QueenXxX


	3. Last Time

Chapter 3: Last Time

The scent of flowers was overpowering, yet wonderful. It brought a smile to Cloud's face as he made his way down the rows and rows of church pews. He stopped as he made it to a missing plank on the floor. Aeris was there mending the flowers with her gentle and loving hands.

"Cloud!" She cried, ending her words with a smile. That smile. The smile that sent Cloud's heart racing to no end. "I'm glad you're here. I wanted to show you this place a long time ago but I couldn't find the courage to bring you here." Aeris finished, taking a step back to admire her 'garden'.

Cloud let his eyes explore the sights before him. The yellow and white flowers bursting free with happiness, blossoming under the light that made them glitter and glow with the passion of the sun. Thick green leaves gently caressed each flower bud in a blanket suitable just for flowers. The best part of all had to be the scent. It smelled as if a thousand flowers danced within the air, each of them giving off a different individual scent. Cloud didn't think anyone could hate this place. "This looks nice Aeris, you did this…all by yourself?" Cloud asked circling the group of flowers. "Yea." Cloud heard Aeris whisper, her face turning red under the light. "I'm impressed." Cloud said, a smile on his face. "You didn't think one person cloud do this? Not even me?" Aeris asked putting her hands on her hips, teasing Cloud. "Well it never actually crossed my mind." Cloud said facing her. Aeris smiled and shoved him playfully. "I'm just messing around with you!" She laughed along with Cloud over such a silly little moment. Or as someone would say, child's play.

Aeris paced around the Church her hands folded behind her back. "You know…" she began in a wistful tone that grabbed Cloud's attention. "It's always been a dream of mines." She said stopping underneath an opening in the ceiling of the Church where the light came in. "To grow flowers in a Church?" Cloud asked feeling confused. "No." Aeris giggled at Cloud's words. "I want to grow flowers and give them out to other people. To spread happiness to others, throughout the Slums." Aeris stared up at the bottom of the Midgar plate through the hole in the ceiling. "…even up there..someday." Cloud nodded even though Aeris couldn't see him. Just looking at the flowers made him happy. He was sure Aeris' dream could become a reality.

"Why haven't you started?" Cloud asked wanting to touch the flowers. Aeris would probably scold him for that. "Started?" Aeris asked, spinning around to face Cloud, her dress spinning around her in a pink whirlwind. "Giving out the flowers, spreading happiness." Aeris' hand went up to her cheek and she looked down at the floor. "Well I…I don't know." Aeris put her hand down and carefully sat down on the floor putting her dress underneath her. "Maybe I'm not ready yet. But one day I will be. And maybe everyone else will be ready too." Aeris stared at the flowers as if imagining how things would work out. "Do you think people would want the flowers? Do you think it will make them happy?" Aeris' hopeful eyes looked up at Cloud waiting for an answer. "Of course. Aeris you spend a lot of time on this. Someone out there would appreciate this." Cloud said looking down at Aeris. He felt a bit awkward standing there while she sat down. "Yea I guess you're right." Aeris gazed at the flowers in the sunlight.

She wondered if now was the time. The perfect time to tell Cloud. To lift this unsettling weight off her chest. She had to tell him.

"Well I better get back to the bar." Cloud's voice cut through the millions of Aeris' thoughts. She looked up at him and saw that he already started to make his way to the entrance of the Church. She hesitated for a moment, her heart beat rising dramatically before she shouted, "Wait, Cloud!" Cloud stopped in his tracks and turned around to see Aeris standing up. She looked quite flustered… "I wanted to give you this." Aeris said holding out a piece of folded paper with 'Cloud' scrawled across the front.

Cloud made his way up to Aeris and took the letter from her. "Thanks." he said, proceeding to open the letter. "Oh, no. Don't read it now. Read it when you get back to the bar." Aeris diverted her eyes from Cloud and stared at the floor. "Okay. Thank you Aeris." Cloud said smiling at her. Aeris blushed and returned his smile, "It's not a problem. I hope to see you soon Cloud." Aeris said. "I'll stop by again to see you, don't worry." Cloud said with confidence. Aeris' smile widened at his words. It gave her something to look forward to in the near future. "Okay. I'll be waiting." Cloud nodded and looked back at the flowers. He didn't want to leave right now. He knew it was only a matter of time before Tifa would be wondering where he was and he didn't want to keep her waiting. Cloud said his goodbyes to Aeris and got onto Fenrir. Aeris waved him off at the entrance of her Church.

Now as Cloud sat here, alone at the bar he knew what he had to do. Aeris was gone now and he did make a promise to Tifa. There was no way he was going back on his word, he wasn't that type of guy.

Tifa was probably waiting for Cloud upstairs even though she was frustrated at him for his inability to cooperate with her. Maybe she was regretting it. There was only one way to find out. Cloud took one last glance at the open letter in front of him that he wasn't reading, he just stared at her signature drowned in his thoughts. He folded the letter and put it back in his pocket, making his decision.

_A/n: Yea im sorry it took me soooooo long to update T^T this was meant to be updated months ago ;u; super sad face D: yea it sucks freaking like I went on a freaking trip to north Carolina so I had no access to a computer and yea and im working on making up a lot of school work since I missed a week so yea please review __tell me what you think! _


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